EXPERIENCE WHEN SOMEONE DIES 3
Experiencewhen Someone Dies
Somethings happen once someone receives news of a beloved one who died orwitnessing the loss of a beloved one(Rask & Paunonen, 2002).In recent loss of my grandfather, I was caught up in the mix of dailyactivities, and once I received the news through a text message, Iwas extremely shocked since this was the first time to lose a lovedone. I could not understand what was happening to me. I could notspare the thought that I would never see him again.
Ifelt disoriented, left my place in the world, and felt like I was ina different planet. I felt pain and distress, which was overwhelmingand very frightening. During the grieving process, an emotion ofanger would sweep my heart and I would wonder how cruel and unfairdeath is when I remembered the good times we would spend with thegrandfather, the endless stories, immeasurable laughter, and greatwisdom that I acquired from him. It was so unfortunate he was to die.Also, I felt guilty because I thought I had not done enough to himwhen he was alive and I could not help it that he was gone.
Afterthe burial, I settled in the state of depression, felt as if life isnot worth living, and felt like I too deserved to die because lifeseemed to have no meaning anymore. I needed a longer time for thebrain to process the death of the grandfather. I kept on thinkingabout the events that led to his death and I could not bring myselfto accept that the most influential person in my life was goneforever. The most difficult thing I underwent is facing friends, andhow they reacted to me. However, they did not have an idea of what totell me or respond to this loss and some of them avoided me for fearof saying or doing the wrong thing to me. It became even harder astime goes on and memories of others about my grandfather graduallyfaded.
Rask,K., Kaunonen, M., & Paunonen‐Ilmonen,M. (2002). Adolescent coping with grief after the death of a lovedone. InternationalJournal of Nursing Practice,8(3),137-142.